As I came to wait upon the Lord I again was unsettled and could not quiet myself, so I began a dialog with Him:
me: Why do I feel so disgruntled?
Lord: you are allowing offense to come in and dwell. This is not My plan for you, My little one. You have still much to learn. Beloved, do not hold back your heart, give it all to Me.
me: I want to see you, I want to feel you more, I want a more tangible relationship with you.
Lord: My dear, you have all of Me you want. If you would but look, I am here.
me: why do I feel so alone, so isolated, and so unprepared and unworthy?
Lord: This is the nature of man, for your spirit is striving against My spirit. Be still now, My little one, be still and know that I am God. I am here, I am in you. I never leave.
me: but, what can I even offer to share, I really know nothing. I feel like I am one of those women who constantly seek the Truth but never attain it.
Lord: My child, you know Me intimately, you have been in My chambers and I have been in yours. We do not have to share many words to know one another. We know one another by spending time in each others presence.
me: I love you Lord, I don't want to be sinful, or displeasing or prideful, please help me.
Lord: I am here with you every step of the way. I watch over all that you do. For you are in a deep relationship with Me and no one call pull you out of it.
me: Lord, I just want to be pleasing to you.
Lord: you are pleasing to Me, My beloved.
me: What is my job or position that I'm supposed to be doing?
Lord: My faithful dove, I have placed you here in My heart so that you can feel My heartbeat. We are one. You love Me and I love you. You long for the day when we shall be together. I too long for this. There is not a day that goes by that you are not thinking of Me in some way. This pleases Me, child, this pleases Me. For you don't come to seek My hand, but, you come to seek My face and dwell in My heart. Beloved, I smile and rejoice over you, for you are always thinking of Me, and I know you love Me. My plans for you are unfolding slowly, for I have kept the best wine for last. As you seek to grow up in Me, I shall show you many things. Do not compare yourselves to another, My children, this is foolish, only walk in My love and as I pour out My love upon you, you will begin to pour out My love. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, and I am filling you with My love.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, beloved, you and I are gathered here, just you and I, separated from the distractions of the world, a stolen moment, in the tranquility of the heart.
Note: a song began wafting through my head "You and I were made for love...I'll be there.." I think it's a Michael Jackson song.
me: Lord, what am I seeing, the silver light flashes on the other side of My bedroom door.
Lord: Beloved, those are My angels, you and your family are very precious to Me, and you are heavily guarded, for many would seek to do you harm, but, I will not allow it. The enemy would like to snuff you out, for He can see you getting stronger and this terrifies him. You are a chosen vessel of honor, for as you surrender yourself to Me, I can use you more. For now, just keep focusing on Me day by day, and moment by moment as the day draws near.
Note: then I heard the song He gave me a while ago begin to play "Moment by moment the mystery comes...Moment by moment the day draws near...tell me can you hear..."
Then I close my eyes and I am drawn into a vision:
I see the ocean and a beautiful beach with rosy sand and large red boulders. Jesus is there in a white robe/cloak with a gold rope belt and sandals. The sun is shining it it peaceful and beautiful. I see Him and He holds out His hand for me and we begin to walk on the beach as this song plays in the background of this scene...
me: Why do I feel so disgruntled?
Lord: you are allowing offense to come in and dwell. This is not My plan for you, My little one. You have still much to learn. Beloved, do not hold back your heart, give it all to Me.
me: I want to see you, I want to feel you more, I want a more tangible relationship with you.
Lord: My dear, you have all of Me you want. If you would but look, I am here.
me: why do I feel so alone, so isolated, and so unprepared and unworthy?
Lord: This is the nature of man, for your spirit is striving against My spirit. Be still now, My little one, be still and know that I am God. I am here, I am in you. I never leave.
me: but, what can I even offer to share, I really know nothing. I feel like I am one of those women who constantly seek the Truth but never attain it.
Lord: My child, you know Me intimately, you have been in My chambers and I have been in yours. We do not have to share many words to know one another. We know one another by spending time in each others presence.
me: I love you Lord, I don't want to be sinful, or displeasing or prideful, please help me.
Lord: I am here with you every step of the way. I watch over all that you do. For you are in a deep relationship with Me and no one call pull you out of it.
me: Lord, I just want to be pleasing to you.
Lord: you are pleasing to Me, My beloved.
me: What is my job or position that I'm supposed to be doing?
Lord: My faithful dove, I have placed you here in My heart so that you can feel My heartbeat. We are one. You love Me and I love you. You long for the day when we shall be together. I too long for this. There is not a day that goes by that you are not thinking of Me in some way. This pleases Me, child, this pleases Me. For you don't come to seek My hand, but, you come to seek My face and dwell in My heart. Beloved, I smile and rejoice over you, for you are always thinking of Me, and I know you love Me. My plans for you are unfolding slowly, for I have kept the best wine for last. As you seek to grow up in Me, I shall show you many things. Do not compare yourselves to another, My children, this is foolish, only walk in My love and as I pour out My love upon you, you will begin to pour out My love. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks, and I am filling you with My love.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, beloved, you and I are gathered here, just you and I, separated from the distractions of the world, a stolen moment, in the tranquility of the heart.
Note: a song began wafting through my head "You and I were made for love...I'll be there.." I think it's a Michael Jackson song.
me: Lord, what am I seeing, the silver light flashes on the other side of My bedroom door.
Lord: Beloved, those are My angels, you and your family are very precious to Me, and you are heavily guarded, for many would seek to do you harm, but, I will not allow it. The enemy would like to snuff you out, for He can see you getting stronger and this terrifies him. You are a chosen vessel of honor, for as you surrender yourself to Me, I can use you more. For now, just keep focusing on Me day by day, and moment by moment as the day draws near.
Note: then I heard the song He gave me a while ago begin to play "Moment by moment the mystery comes...Moment by moment the day draws near...tell me can you hear..."
Then I close my eyes and I am drawn into a vision:
I see the ocean and a beautiful beach with rosy sand and large red boulders. Jesus is there in a white robe/cloak with a gold rope belt and sandals. The sun is shining it it peaceful and beautiful. I see Him and He holds out His hand for me and we begin to walk on the beach as this song plays in the background of this scene...
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